In an unprecedented move that has left the financial world stunned, a group of prominent Wall Street bankers announced today that they will be donating their entire annual bonuses to various charities and adopting a minimalist lifestyle. The bankers, who have requested to remain anonymous, cited a sudden epiphany about the true meaning of life and the importance of giving back to society.
"I woke up one morning and realized that my collection of vintage sports cars and luxury yachts just wasn't bringing me the fulfillment I thought it would," said one banker, who plans to downsize from his 15,000-square-foot penthouse to a modest studio apartment. "I've decided to trade in my Armani suits for a simple wardrobe of hemp clothing and donate 90% of my income to organizations fighting poverty and climate change."
The news has sent shockwaves through the financial district, with many wondering if this sudden change of heart is a sign of a larger shift in the industry. Some have speculated that the bankers may have been influenced by a secret society of Zen monks who have infiltrated the highest ranks of Wall Street.
However, not everyone is convinced by the bankers' sudden philanthropy. "I'll believe it when I see it," said one skeptical analyst. "I wouldn't be surprised if this is just a clever ruse to avoid paying taxes or to distract from some impending scandal. But if it's true, I suppose stranger things have happened - like that time a group of stockbrokers started a commune in the Hamptons to grow organic kale."